All Hail McBatty Von BonBon!

OH YOU!

So. I forgot to blog about this, but the other day someone lit the backyard on FIRE. I couldn't believe it at first. Corey said he smelled something and I just thought it was someone burning their leaves. So he goes out back to check and comes back in saying "So, uh. The brush back there? Yeah it's on fire." I lift my curtains and sur enough! A little pile of flames up to my hip or so.

I said "Well, whadoyaknow. ......... Think we should call the fire department?" "Yeah." "Right, I'll grab my phone."

WE ACTED LIKE THIS WAS NORMAL OR SOMETHING. So Corey grabbed the garden hose and a bucket and started dousing the flames. He said the fire was in a straight line with a little side patch on fire, like someone used lighter fluid and lit it. I'm guessing it was a ciggeratte. There's NO WAY it can possibly be a natural fire from heat because it rained 6 hours prior. And when one of the firemen kicked up the dirt underneath to put on top? It was MOIST. I am so pissed off because my deck and the neighbor's behind us would've been the first places to burn before anyone would notice. And if it wasn't for Corey, I'dve ignored the smell, haha. :D;;

So that was my adventure for Thursday. How

So. Like. I has a paid account now. I'M NOT SURE WHY, THOUGH. 8D Anyway. Something hilarious happened yesterday morning.

So I was in a nice deep sleep when around 10:30 I was abrubtly awoken to the front door being flung open and some guy shouting "JUST GRABBIN' A BEER!!!" In my sleep state I was like "Okay..." Then after he left, I was like. WAIT A MINUTE. So I run out of bed and around the house trying to see if anything else was taken, etc. I'm having a fucking panic attack trying to figure out WHO that was and WHY do they know about Corey's beer and WHERE it is and AAAAAHHH!!

Then I look outside. Corey and his friend are fixing someone's car. His friend has a beer.

8D OH JOY.

So, working at this particular Outback Steakhouse is fucking AMAZING. Everyone is really cool and they have an entire job devoted to ROLLING THE SILVERWARE. That means, as a server, NO SILVERWARE SIDEWORK. As a hostess, NO FUCKING SILVERWARE. And, if you're the one stuck rolling the silverware, you are 100% allowed to do ANYTHING ELSE as long as there's a proper amount of rolled silverware. I. Am. THRILLED.

Today, I had that job of rolling the silverware from 11-5, haha. I spent maybe 2 of those hours actually rolling while the other 4 were spent doodling. :) It was a good and bad day. Well, not so much of a "bad" day as a "WTF THAT IS GRODY" day.

So. I go to use the regular bathroom. (We have nice ones up front for customers, and ones in back for employees. But they smell funny so I don't use them.) Upon entering one of the three stalls, I notice something on the rim of the bowl, just under the seat. I lift the seat ever so slightly to see that it is BUTT MUCUS. EW. EWWWWWWWWWWW EW BIG FAT FUCKING EW. So I used another stall and flush but it only flushes a little then backs up. :( SHIT. I throw an "OUT OF ORDER" sign on the stall, wash my hands, and head back into the kitchen.

Only to find the grease traps are overflowing with steamy, brown water! YAY. Luckily, it's NOT poop. It's just grease. The ENTIRE plumbing is down for some reason. The two managers on duty are flailing around; one in anger and the other is a gay "OHMYGAWD~" flounce. Aparently, they had a company come down to fix the pipes the night before, but they did a shitastic job. Managers were PISSED. By the time I left, they had it all fixed and the whole kitchen didn't get flooded, so that was good.

I stole this from quetzadrake

Instructions:
Start with 100%. Bold everything you've done and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as you're __% virgin.

1. Smoked. (Still do!)
2. Drank alcohol.
3. Cried when someone died.
4. Been drunk.
5. Had sex.
6. Been to a concert.
7. Gotten/given a handjob.
8. Gotten/given a blowjob.
9. Been verbally/sexually harassed.
10. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 90%

11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfrend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom. (I skipped it to play Halo. :V)
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 82%

21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger.
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray.
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done serious drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 73%

31. Played strip poker/darts/basketball.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
40. Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 66%

41. French kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep.
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 56%

51. Watched a person die.
52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital.
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
56. Kissed somebody of the same sex.
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed goth.
59. Dressed preppy.
60. Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 49%

61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 40%
71. Got caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush.
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 34%

81. Donated your hair to cancer patients. (13 inches cut off. C: )
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
83. Cried over a family member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for 3 months or more.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 25%

91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody. (This makes me lol because some guy actually claimed I raped him when he totally came to my apartment 3 times to have sex. Yes, I raped him, hahaha!)
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.

Total Percentage: 19%

Damn, still have some innocence in there. :P